TBCODBS
by DragonRaye
Summary: Oh, you KNOW you're curious. I see that raised eyebrow. Yup, I can see right through the internet. Anyway, I'll give you a hint: the main character is the least mentioned in the entire series.
1. Part 1

I knew it. I KNEW you would be curious. This is actually a pretty short chapter, and I don't know if I'm continuing it or not. But if I do, it's gonna be FUNNY. So you might want to hide for a while. ^. ^   And, as always, tell me what you think. Remember, 10 reviews and I'll consider furthering my strange little world. Now, onto TBCODBS!

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Ochdjkgdbcklswqprxbymzfn, qtwieiaouysmt.

            ...

            Konichiwa, minna-san.

            ...

            Bonjour, tout le monde.

            ...

            Greetings, Earthlings.

            Ah much better. I see that you insignificant beings are now doing more than scratching the heads that encase your puny little minds. Yes, I can see you. I see all. I know all. I am Gvxpkjldfadiqyoz. Or you may address me as Toma-sama. I will not tolerate that despicable name bestowed upon me by the evils of Funimation. Scratch. What horrible demise were they planning for my dignity when that was broadcast all over the North American world? The shame my people will suffer...

            No longer! I have lived in the shadows for years, my only minion the sole being aware of my intense genius. Not one of those brawn-over-brain idiots knows that *I* was the one to create these spacepods. I created them almost 6,000 years ago, when that fool, the "all-powerful" Frieza was less than a hatchling. And this transport has told them countless times of my superior intelligence. On my planet, this form reigns supreme. Here I am looked on as an animal, a creature without thought or feeling. I will prove them all wrong. They will all bow down before my awesome power!

            Curse this body of mine. Here amongst such stupidity, I can do nothing but watch. I have not yet completely infiltrated the "genius" mind of one Dr. Briefs. I do not yet control his speech centers, or even his manner of dress. But he is my loyal and worthy slave, and someday I shall exalt him above all others. The day I rule this world will be the day he is recognized for his blind devotion and simple idiocy. And yet he will sit by my side in comfort and I will give him hours worth of entertainment, allowing him to watch those who scorned him stumble and fall into hell.

            "Here kitty, kitty, kitty!" That mate of his... She will force me out one day. I look forward to it. Revenge will be mine then, once I am away from her mindless insanity and superior brainwashing skills. However, I obediently allow her to shove that gods-awful lump down my throat. Revenge...

            "Look at this!" That woman squeaks as my minion holds up a squat quadruped, roundish in shape with a face uglier than that of the yellow-haired one. He places it on his other shoulder, a stupidly boyish expression contaminating his features.

            "I've always wanted a frog."

            The frog looked at me. And smirked.

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Yes, TBCONBS stands for The Black Cat ON Dr. Brief's Shoulder. And I wasn't kidding when I said this fic was about the most ignored character in the entire series. Should I continue? Gotta review for me. ^. ^

AN: Yes, I'm also aware that 'minna-san' and 'tout le monde' mean 'everyone' instead of Earthlings. I couldn't find that particular word in either of my dictionaries. You'll live.


	2. Part 2

I'm so glad I attract curious people. I have the feeling that everyone that reads this story is just like me. And judging from the reviews… I'd have to say that feeling was right. *sappy grin* Doesn't it feel good to know you're not alone? :P

The frog cocks his lopsided little head and stares at me with a feeble stupidity that I could not ignore. Round eyes bulge obscenely from that squat little form although that infuriating smirk has yet to vanish. The transport places the obviously lesser intelligent being of this backwater planet on the table with a degree of glee I didn't think him capable of. The yellow-haired one disappears, much to my relief. Another moment with her would have ended with the frog's innards spilled across her dress of fine material.

A bellow sounds in my ears and instinctively each hair along my spine stands on end—a warning to whatever inferior idiot has come to challenge me. And yet, only my minion and the frog remain. Ears flat, I study the newcomer with a scowl. I never did understand the use for such a creature: it was only as intelligent as it was attractive, and its sole specialty was living in water as well as land. My forefathers could do such as well, although that particular accomplishment had been bred out of the royal line thousands of years ago, then out of my race entirely.

Its throat billows and my claws are swiftly closing the inches between us. I stop only because the sound that comes next sounds like some misshapen form of Standard. Even the "mighty" Saiyan prince himself cannot remember the language of trade. My nails ease away from the monstrosity and my ears drawn forward by the throaty croak that murders the vowels of intergalactic communication. Obviously my transport thinks this is normal of this being: yet another testament to his human faults and stupidity.

"What do you want, creature?" I reply in noticing that the transport is led away by the voice of his mate. My eyes narrow almost of their own doing and my claws again slide from their sheaths. "What business have you here?" I am prepared to defend my minion and his family for the sole reason that I alone wish to rule this planet. I have no need for an accomplice, even less so of one that is regarded as a side dish.

He blinks once more. "Where is here?"

Such an imbecile. What kind of conqueror invades a planet—especially alone—without some knowledge of the fodder he is conquering? Yet, as I gaze at him, I receive the distinct feeling that his true form lies elsewhere. Nowhere in the universe have I encountered a body such as this—except for this pitiful backwater planet that has only two full-blooded Saiyans to boast. I don't allow my claws to snap back into their proper place, but the fur along my spine flattens and my—obvious—scowl is gone. "You are on a planet called Chikyuu, creature." He looks minutely surprised and I stretch forward, yawning once before settling into a more relaxed position. "I am known as Toma."

"I am Ginyu, captain of the Ginyu Force under Lord Frieza." He smirks, as if knowing I would be impressed. Impressed, indeed. Foolish, however, I am not. If I yield to him now, he will push me out of the system I have used to take entire worlds. He could be a dangerous ally, but not so much a formidable enemy. After all, his intelligence cannot possibly match mine if he has used his infamous technique to become trapped in the body of a frog.

So, what y'all think? R/R. :)


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